Ed Proofed
by Sephira jo
Summary: Just after Ed joins the Bebop, Jet thinks he has Ed Proofed his computer. But with Radical Edward Aboard, can any thing really stay sane? Rated PG for hacking action and a fancy underware dilverly. Oh, and did I mention the cow?


Title: Ed Proofed

Series: Cowboy Bebop

Rating: PG

Author: Sephira jo (contact: sephirajoyahoo.com)

Archive: With Permission Only

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, Sunrise does... I do however want an Ein plushie....

Authors notes: First part of this fic is in Ed vision... So the grammar and such makes no to little sense... Enjoy!

_Oh, what's this? Jet-person's computer has a new protection on it! Wow! They got Ed a game to play! How kind of them . . . lets see Ed will bypass this and type pass this and decode this! Oh what fun Ed has! Ed's online now. So much for Ed to do. Ed can never decide._

_Ein barks at Ed and Ed smiles back. Ed likes Ein, _"Hi Ein! Ed Says Hi! Does Ein want to help Ed have fun?"

_Ein cocks his head at Ed and his eyes smile. Ed hears Ein talk all the time but Faye-Faye says Ed is crazy. Ed doesn't think Ed is crazy. Ed wonders where Faye-Faye got such a silly idea. Humph crazy Ed. Radical Ed! _

_Ein barks back. Ein says that he wishes he could go outside. Ed asked about Ein's breed and looked it up on the net. Corgis were used to herd moo cows. Even though cows were big. Ein said it sounded like fun. Maybe Ed will order Ein a cow. Here's Jet-person's account. . .where was that cow site? Ed hopes Ein will like the cow. Where are we going next Bebop? Ooooh we're going to Mars! Ed will have the cow sent to the port on Mars. Ed makes an early landing request and they give Ed a bay number. Ed will have the cow waiting there for Ein._

_Time to look at Spike-person's account! Where does all of Spike-person's money go. Looks like Faye-Faye's been gambling with it. That's mean of Faye-Faye, she never wins any way and its Spike-person's money. Ed'll freeze the account, that will stop it all! Who-hoo! Roger, ACCOUNT FROZEN! Ed froze the account. What was Ed doing on line? Oh yeah._

"MPU!!! You there! This is Ed!" _Ed waits for a minute then MPU talks back._

"Hello Ed. What do you wish to talk about today?" _MPU always sounds silly when he talks. He sounds like a computer trying to sound like a person trying to sound like a computer. Ed likes MPU._

"Ed's got a surprise for MPU!" _Ed is smiling, MPU will like this surprise, _"Since MPU had no birthday Ed gave one to MPU! Happy Birthday MPU!! Ed bought you a cake and had it sent to you in space! Ed hopes you like chocolate."

"What is a birth day?" _MPU asks Ed. Silly MPU. Ed explains and tells MPU to eat the cake. MPU will like the cake, it is Ed's favorite._

_Ed says good bye to MPU. Time to have fun! Ed looks through the bounties in the computer. Boring! Some guy worth lots, but he doesn't look funny at all. Off the list! Wow a guy who steals clothing! Small bounty but looks like fun! Ed moves him to the top of the list. Jet-person and Spike-person and Faye-Faye will have fun with this. I wonder if he stole Faye Faye's clothes. Faye-Faye never wears much. Maybe he stole the bounty ladies shirt too and That's why she only wears a jacket_.

_Ed surfs the web. So many colors for Ed to look at. Oooh! Here's Faye Faye's real account! The one she hides from Spike-person and Jet-person! I'll pay Spike-person back for Faye-Faye's gambling. What ACCOUNT FROZEN? That's not good. Lets make Spike-person a new account with Ed's name. Spike person will be so happy with Ed._

_Wow! A pinwheel site. Ed should buy more, Ed's almost out. Lets see. . .Solar Powered Pin Wheels! All the colors Ed could want only 2500 Woolongs a case. Ed will order 50 cases. Use Jet-persons account. After all he gave Ed the fun game to play with on his computer. And pin wheels will make Jet-person happy too! Have them delivered to the landing bay. Ed smiles. Ed's getting Pin Wheels! And wow, it comes with a free gift! Ed wonders what lingerie is. Maybe Spike-person will like that. Ed puts Spikes name on that package. No one is nicer to her friends then Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivnsky the fourth!_

_Ed gets ready for landing now that Bebop is almost to the dock! Here comes Spike-person and Jet-person. Ed laughs and goes to the door of Bebop after turning off Jet-person's computer. Ed doesn't want to ruin the surprise.  
_

_   
_

Spike's fist thought was something was off when they had already been cleared for landing. He could tell that Jet thought so as well, but the old cyborg cop had a tendency to keep his musings to him self, a set up that had always suited Spike just fine. So he just pushed the odd feeling away, letting it drift to the back of his mind he turned to his old friend.

"So, did you have your computer Ed-proofed?" Spike asked, hoping the idle conversation would pass the time it would take to dock.

"Yeah, and the guy charged me a fortune for it too. But he guaranteed that it would work. 'Says it's a Fire Wall program being worked on by the Mars Government to keep out hackers. And for the price he charged me it better damn well work." Jet said sharply. The young girl hacker had been nothing but trouble since she had forced them to pick her up a few days ago. Since then nothing on the ship had been sane. The only thing that kept them from dropping her at the nearest orphan age was the fact that she had proved useful. And the fact that Jet had a bigger heart then he let on. Although he still called her proof that nothing good came from the Earth any more, Spike suspected that he meant it less and less as the days dragged on.

As they pulled into the dock Spike stared lazily out the window. His eyes flew open when faced with the site that greeted him.

"Um... Jet?"

"What is it?"

Spike just silently grabbed Jet's sleeve and pointed out the window.

"What the hell is going on down there!" Jet shouted.

On the landing bay was a young man in a delivery suit holding a cow with a rope around its neck surronded by stacks and stacks of crates marked "Pin Wheels."

"There had better be a damned good explanation for this," Jet muttered as they got ready to disembark.

As they made their way on to the deck the overwhelming smell of cow overpowered them and the crates of Pin Wheels made the already small dock feel like a prison. Spike leaned against the entrance to the ship while Jet stomped over to the young man holding the cow.

"What the hell is all this stuff?" Jet shouted at the delivery boy who didn't appear to flinch at all. Apparently it was a line he had heard often.

"Are you Jet Black?" He asked in a monotone voice and with a deadpan face.

"Yeah, but that doesn't answer my question!" Jet roared.

The young man shoved a pad and a pen in his face and said simply, "Sign here please."

Jet grumbled and signed the pad without really thinking then shoved it back to its owner, "What is all this stuff?!" He asked again.

"One Black and White Bovine, Fifty cases of Solar Powered Pin Wheels, and is there a Spike Spiegel here?"

Spike's head shot up at the sound of his name and Jet dumbly pointed in his direction as the young man put the cow's leash in Jet's other hand. The delivery boy picked up one more package and gave it to Spike before walking off the dock completely.

Spike opened the package in his hands, and curious look on his face that quickly turned to shock as the contents were revealed to him. It was full of fancy, lacy lingerie and teddies.

Jet laughed out loud when he saw his friend pull out the under garments, "Why Spike I never knew!" He joked.

"Whose the one holding the cow Jet?" Spike intoned back smiling.

Jet flinched, "Damn it! Where the hell did all this stuff come from!"

In that moment a child's foot steps were heard along with a barking of a dog. Ed ran out off the ship her arms flailing in that child like way she had.

"Wow! Ed's stuff is here! See Ein! Ed got you a cow!" Ed's impish voice intoned as Ein barked happily and ran toward the cow at full speed. The terrified beast took off in the opposite direction mooing in fear. The force from losing the leash slammed Jet into the ground with a heavy thud.

Spike just stared not knowing what to think as the little monster danced atop of cases of Pin Wheels signing. He sighed and walked over to Jet, who was slowly working his way off the ground.

"I thought you had Ed-proofed your computer." Spike said in a hushed voice. Jet just stared at him with a black look on his face.

Ed came running over to them signing in that strange way she had. She stopped and hugged Jet hard, "Thanks so much for the game you gave to Ed, Jet-person! Ed had fun! Only next time give Ed a game that lasts more then two minutes it was so easy!"

Jet and Spike just stared at the girl blankly as she started laughing saying "Pin Wheels for Ed" over and over again.

Faye poked her head out of the ship's hatch and stared. "What the hell is all of this!?" She asked, only to be stared at blankly by Jet and Spike. Sighing she shook her head and looked at Spike and called out, "Oh by the way Spike, Your account's been frozen, just thought you should know!" Faye's head ducked back onto the Bebop and disappeared.

Spike just stood there for a moment then shouted, "What were you doing in my account!" He yelled, then sighed Faye was already to far away to hear.

Spike sent a dry look toward Jet who was lying on the floor of the dock with a sullen look on his face and a brightly colored Pin Wheel in his hand, in the distance he heard a barking dog chasing a mooing cow mixed with screams from the other patrons of the docks. Spike sighed as a Pin Wheel was shoved into his hand by the perpetually signing Ed.

"Ed-proofed, huh?"


End file.
